Friday, January 18, 2008

From Fake Beer to Suicidal Bathtub Plug : 7 Products Your Kid Should Not Know About



Some trends can be considered as improvements and are easily likable. Others should better be left behind. Here are a few examples.

Fake alcoholic drinks for children



Take this new trend from the land of "no one can be freakier than us" for example: fake alcoholic drinks for children. You read correctly. We can't let them have the real thing, what can you do, but hey! why not get them used to it with an item of a product line recently released by Sangaria? An apple juice flavored fake beer designed to make children imitate a common adult practice!

This incredible drink creates the familiar foam when poured into a glass and is sold in all familiar beer container form factors including bottles, cans and six-packs. Branded as Kodomo no nomimono (Japanese for 'Children’s drink') Sangaria's product line also includes children’s versions of wine, champagne, and cocktails in case your kid is not of the beer type. As Agent Cooper used to say: Man-o-man. More about this on kilian-nakamura.com, a blog from CScout about trend and market research in Japan.

Owl Puke: Book and Owl Pellet



Did you know owls regurgitate football-shaped objects twice a day? Well, they do, and those objects contain the crashed skeletons of at least one owl meal, usually a mouse, vole, shrew, or small bird. Owl pellets are commonly used in elementary schools as food web teaching accessory. However, at least according to the publishers of Owl Puke: Book and Owl Pellet they were virtually unavailable at retail before "professionally collected, heat-sterilized owl pellet" items were - believe it or not - stuffed into the above two-color illustrated book by Jane Hammerslough.

Now don’t get us wrong here. We like all kind of birds, including owls. We know "kids love science especially when it's hands on". We also know they love "yucky stuff" but having this particular educational item in my home... we don't know about that. Price: $11.16.

Voodoo Toothpick Holder



Though the top side of the Ouch Voodoo Doll (& Toothpick Holder) was designed to hold your favorite oral fixation toy, this product is first of all a tension reliever. Yet this is not the kind of accessory your kid's teacher is likely to allow in class. According to baronbob.com, an online shop "crusading against the common gifts since 1998", this Voodoo Toothpick Holder is also; an excellent conversation piece; the next great party starter; slightly (?!!) creepy; and a whole lot of whole poking fun. Price: $6.95 at baronbob's. I am just not sure about the slightly.

Toilet Bowl Lip Gloss



The attractive artifact shown above is packaged as a keychain, so your kid can always have one of his toilets handy when feeling like freshen up a little bit. Your 12 years old likes her own flavor in everything? The Toilet Bowl Lip Gloss comes in Grape, Lemon, Apple, and Strawberry. They are chosen by the Toilet Bowl folks but there is a promise that if you buy more than one, they'll make sure you get different ones. How lovely. Price: $1.99 too much at stupid.com.

Vincent Van Gogh Action Figure



Everyone wants his kid to have artistic qualities. That is to some extent, not necessarily "all the way" as they say. It may indeed be that there were not many greater characters in the history of art than this fellow who chopped his ears off "in the name of love". We all know that but with the Vincent Van Gogh Action Figure, your kid can now enhance his artistic tendencies and identify with Vincent "before and after his self-conducted surgery; with 2 ears or with bandaged head". Explicitly suggested to be used as "an inspirational tool" this masterpiece is accompanied with a set of paintbrush, palette, an easel, a frame and some mini masterpieces to display. Spec: 5-1/4" inches tall vinyl figure, two interchangeable heads. Art never looked more frightening. Price: $9.95 also at baronbob's.

Remote Controlled Fart Machine



The above piece of high tech technology is claimed to be a "replacement for the Whoopee cushion" and being a remote controlled device it is promised that no one will ever know who's to be blamed. From parties and school class to elevators and your living room, your kid is promised to use the Remote Controlled Fart Machine anywhere as it works up to 100 feet and through walls. Sold, for those who are interested after all, on Spoonsisters.com. Price: $22.00. I guess some people would do anything for money.

Mr. Suicide Bathtub Plug



Lastly, meet Mr. Suicide Bathtub Plug, a universal bathtub plug designed for Alessi in 2000 by Italian designer Massimo Giacon. The item features a "dead" figure that floats to the surface when you take a bath. Pooky, a product reviewer on the Amazon shop, reports the chain can be separated from the plug, and attached to the included tiny suction cup a great feature for kids who "might play with the little guy, and pull out the plug by mistake". Sorry. Just a liiiiittle bit too spooky for me, Pooky. $29.95 on Amazon and your kid will be happier than ever.

Know any other products you rather your kid won't even know about? Leave a comment. I'll be happy to follow-up.

3 comments:

  1. Hilarious post! #1 sadly reminded me of chewing gum we could get in the supermarket growing up in Latin America. It was slim and tube-shaped, and each individual piece was wrapped in white paper and sold in groups of 20 inside fliptop boxes. Can’t believe that my (then smoking) parents gave in and bought us that stuff, albeit with some obvious pangs of conscience.

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  2. If you haven't discovered it yet, go check out the toys on ThinkGeek ... everything from the Giant Plush Microbes to the Electronic Bubble Wrap Keychain (which could drive any parent crazy)... enjoy! =)

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  3. Vivi: I remember those pretty clearly from my early childhood. Unfortunately I moved to the real ones pretty fast. Bad me!
    Betsie: thanks... I like the USB Rocket Launcher. Could be a hit in Israel... LOL

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